I sense you are facing a dilemna - should you or shouldn't you?
The anser is not to, leave it behind you and move on.
Plus you are feling the course you are on is maybe not for you. You are only staying on it for "satying's sake" and are confused. The course is not for you. You could ask a tutor to transfer you to another course, but I feel you would be happier in a college enviroment. enrolment is not too late if you hurry. You can perhaps do GCSE Maths and English. Plus you are interested in art - try doing an art course.
I sense you are a very poetic person (even though you've never shown me, your wonderful brother any poetry of yours! Maybe you keep it online, whatever...). You are not happy with your life at the moment and long to get out of this stalemate. It will take time, but you can and will. Poetry helps you when you are depressed. I think you would be most happy living in a suburban area, as you like your townlife, but also like the countryside.
However, there are things you need to sort out before moving to your ideal area, money, and something else which I will not say on here, but it's to do with ants and other insects on the ground.
you really need to think it through.
DONT-
- you are about to reply disagreeing with what i am saying!
Don't do it, just read the post and think about it. Read it again and again. You will realise eventually if you do this.
Before you reply, think about everything and re-read what i have written above.
Psychic readings can be obtained from davidmc2004@gmail.com